Cooking Up a Storm: The Heaviest I’ve Been

I’ve been pretty religious about tracking my weight since the second trimester.

I haven’t weighed myself regularly in a very long time, but it’s one of my favorite things to do now in the morning.

I currently weigh the most I have ever weighed at 155 pounds.

It’s a strange feeling.

I’m not embarrassed but actually quite proud.

I feel like there’s some kind of pregnancy pride going on these days to gain as little weight as possible or to look “tiny” until the third trimester thanks to a few notable Instagrams.

I thought the weight gain aspect might be hard to accept during pregnancy – and that’s when you try on clothes and you feel like you look fat compared to pregnant – but I like how relaxed and kind to myself I was.

I eat clean and healthy 80% of the time but enjoy my treats without restriction.

My weight gain is on track and I’m glad I was able to give my little guy the extra love.

I still have 10-15 pounds (and 14 weeks) to go healthy and if I gain more I don’t worry.

I use different apps to track my weight, meals, and fitness during pregnancy.

I mainly use Ovia for pregnancy stuff and Wellcoin for food and fitness.

It’s fun to keep track of fitness and food without having to log calorie information or worry about “going over your sugar limit”.

Ovia makes sure I’m on track with my weight gain and I’m earning rewards through Wellcoin to use at some of my favorite places like Whole Foods or Thirst Juice Co. Although I often forget to take photos of my food or workouts, knowing I am earning Wellcoins helps me remember to do it!

With my pregnancy, I don’t focus on calories burned during workouts or consumed during the day.

I eat until I am full, which sometimes means big lunches and small dinners.

By taking photos of my meals with Wellcoin, I don’t have to worry about the photos showing or how appetizing my salad looks because it never does, but it challenges me to stay accountable towards myself.

Also, I like to record my workouts because I always like to review my training plans for races for future reference.

This month, Wellcoin has a bunch of awesome rewards you can earn by logging your healthy activities.

Once you have earned enough Wellcoins which are used as currency in the Wellcoin Marketplace, you can get your free reward.

Free Puma IGNITE PWRcool Women’s Running Shoe

2 free Pure Barre classes at Newton, Wellesley or Brookline locations

You just need 2000 Wellcoins to win the $10 Whole Foods gift certificate and since I’m one of Wellcoin’s ambassadors, I’m giving you 500 Wellcoins to start with.

Download the app here or visit to join me in earning rewards for our healthy behaviors.

Why not make yourself a healthy snack to bring to work this week?

Did you track your weight gain during pregnancy and did it bother you?

Do you feel the increased pressure to stay slim throughout the 9 months?

This will probably be the most vulnerable post I have ever written.

My weight has obviously gone up and down over the last eight years of “maintenance”.

Every time I gain a significant amount of weight (about 10 pounds), I start to wonder if this is the start of my recovery.

When I lost weight, I knew the odds were stacked against me; according to statistics, there was a 95% chance that I would regain all the weight, and more, in two years.

And even though I’ve maintained significant weight loss for eight years now, I still don’t feel like I’m really “there” (in maintenance).

And yet, every time I think I’ve finally figured it out and feel confident enough to say it on my blog, I gain weight.

The times when I’m good and feel good, it’s easy to think it’s going to last forever.

Last year, for example, I was 99% sure that I had finally arrived at the place I was looking for: I was healthy, I ate sustainably, which made me feel good, and I was just doing what made me happy.

I felt really good about my life in general, and I felt like I was going to maintain that feeling forever.

When the weight started to climb, I was worried.

I had a hard time figuring out what to do about it.

I wasn’t overeating; I just ate too much in general.

Eating too often, off schedule and too much.

My weight tends to go up in spurts.

I remember I was at around 144 and wasn’t too worried – I was “only” 11 pounds over my target weight.

I knew how long it would take to lose that weight (again) and I felt overwhelmed.

Recently I stepped on the scale to see 158 – dangerously close to my highest weight in 8 years.

I felt like it came out of nowhere.

I still haven’t binged, and seeing that number was kind of mortifying.

Finally, yesterday I stepped on the scale and saw the highest number I’ve seen in 8 years since losing 125 pounds: 162.8.

I wish I could say all kinds of inspiring things about how I’m going to lose this weight and that it won’t stop me from trying; but honestly, I am very worried that the scale will continue to increase.

I’ve tried counting calories again, something that has always worked in the past, but I can’t seem to stick with it for very long (like a day or two).

Besides my diet, I have NO desire to run.

I want to – I really, really want to – but I can’t seem to pick up this habit and make it a part of my life like I used to.

Every time I run, I feel like it’s getting harder and harder (probably because of the weight gain).

If it was like before, where an easy race seemed really easy, I think I would be much more motivated to go out and do it.

Being out of shape has not only hurt my body, but also my motivation.

I would like to come up with some sort of workable plan to hopefully get me back on track and lose that weight.

I feel like I went too far and that’s it.

That’s when I get everything back.

I try not to feel so negative about it, but it’s a lot harder than it looks.

When I say I want to make a plan, I’m not talking about a “challenge” (you know I love making challenges!).

I have to focus on simple changes that I can live with, like I did in 2009.

I can change more as I go, but to start, I want to set myself small goals to at least get back to good habits.

My first priority is actually not my diet; it turns.

I so want to run regularly again.

I miss feeling like a runner and pushing myself to do things I once thought were impossible.

When I coach cross country, I want to be a good role model.

Yes, I know how to coach, but I want to be a runner who coaches.

This photo is from one of my favorite races.

In 2010, when I decided to start running for fitness, I made a promise to myself: I was going to run three times a week for at least 30 minutes…

There is NO excuse to prevent me from doing the same.

No excuses.

So my first plan is to get back into running by going back to how it all started: running three times a week for over 30 minutes each time.

As for my diet, I want to try something new for a little while (maybe just a few weeks to see how it goes).

Over the past nine years, I’ve learned that every time I gain a lot of weight back, I do something new to lose it.

In September 2012, I tried the new (at the time) Weight Watchers program, starting at 156 lbs.

I started counting calories in August 2015 at 158 ​​lbs.

I reached my goal weight of 133 in November 2015.

I continued to lose weight without really trying, which I believe was due to my heart rate training.

I naturally chose a way of eating that made me feel good – a modified “intuitive eating” lifestyle.

I made the decision to start fresh in February 2017, and my weight was just under 160.

Lifestyle changes came naturally.

I was back to my goal weight in June 2017.

I recently tried going back to those things that have worked in the past, and I just can’t stick with it.

The one thing I’ve always said is that I won’t make changes that I’m not ready to make for the rest of my life.

I have always believed that it is possible to reach our healthy weight by simply eating less food.

Eat less often.

I don’t believe our bodies need as much food as we are taught we should eat.

I’ve always done this through portion control – measuring or weighing my food to make sure I’m not overdoing it.

When I ate intuitively, I ate the portions that suited me; and I didn’t force myself to eat if I wasn’t hungry.

So I would just like to work on a small change right now.

I only want to eat when I’m really hungry.

Lately, I’ve been eating when I’m anxious, when I’m stressed, when I’m celebrating, and for other reasons, whether I’m hungry or not.

Focusing on just this small change will help me feel more in control, and later I can work on another habit.

Either way, racing is my number one priority, and I’m very determined to do it.

I went for a run on Wednesday morning just because I felt like it (my body is so sore and stiff from working on our house project, I actually thought a run would do me good!).

One thing I know for sure is that I want to do my best to lose this weight.

I’m not happy with how I look and I’m certainly not happy with how I feel.

I feel sluggish, which is exactly how I felt at 253 pounds.

And I can’t stand the thought of being part of that statistic that says I’m going to gain all the weight.

I haven’t posted pictures of myself on my blog for the same reason.

I know these are small reasons for wanting to lose weight, but there are other more serious reasons as well.

Running has always helped me deal with my anxiety and of course I want to be less anxious.

Running made me feel good about myself whether I weigh 160 pounds or 121 pounds.

Overeating makes me tired all the time, which makes me unproductive; eating only when I’m hungry will make me more energetic.

Also, I had a lot of pain in my back, neck and shoulders (like last year when I was in physiotherapy).

I’m sure the extra weight doesn’t help.

When I ran regularly and ate the right portions, I don’t remember feeling so much pain.

I’m the heaviest weight I’ve had in 8 years

The extra weight affects my mood, health and general state of mind

I’m afraid that my weight will continue to climb and that I will recover everything

I want to run again – three times a week to start – and it’s my top priority right now

I will work to eat only when I am physically hungry

I want to lose weight not only for vain reasons, but also for my health and general well-being

This message is not meant to be a depressing or “poor me, I feel sorry for myself” message.

It’s not about making excuses.

I’m writing this post because it feels good to be out in the open and not feel like I’m hiding something.

I have always tried to be open and honest on my blog, although I feel very vulnerable when writing personal things like this.

Hopefully I’ll have some good things to report in the weeks to come.

Seeing 160s was a big reality check, and I finally feel ready to do it.

I’m going to work on it slowly (one small step at a time) and eventually hopefully get back to my goal weight (again).

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